Newsletter Archive

The Internet 800 Directory - http://www.inter800.com
The Internet 800 Directory Newsletter
This issue is for Friday, September 12, 2003
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Table of Contents
01. Help For Road Warriors
02. Bird Brain Or Feathered Fiend?
03. Tip Of The Week
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*01. Help For Road Warriors

Many years ago I was a "Road Warrior", traveling from city to city,
living in hotels, eating in restaurants and never quite adjusting to
time zone changes. My time on the road was well before cell phones,
laptop computers and the Internet. These three devices have created a
truly convenient work environment that can go anywhere you do.

However, sometimes while traveling, connecting to the Internet can be a
real problem. Changing network setting or finding local dial up numbers
can be a pain. Several years ago I setup a toll free number that
connected into our network. That way, when traveling, we could dial up
the Internet using a toll free number. It worked anywhere, and by
pre-configuring the laptop for the number, it was ready for any employee
to use. All they had to do was plug in the modem and click the icon. My
cost was fixed at our toll free rate and it was a very trouble-free
system.

This seemed like the perfect solution until a couple of weeks ago when I
found out about TollFreeISP. TollFreeISP provides toll free Internet
access and they do it for a lower cost per minute than we pay for our
regular toll free calls. If you travel or are sending your employees out
on the road, then you should definitely visit their web site and see if
they have a plan that will work for you.

Visit TollFreeISP at
http://www.tollfreeisp.net/lk.asp?sn=inet800

They offered and we accepted a compensation on everyone that signs up
using this link. So if you pass this information on to your friends,
please include the complete link so we can get credit.

Chuck Arning -chuck@inter800.com
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*02  Bird Brain Or Feathered Fiend?

When I was just a little fella, my parents got me a parakeet.  He was a
very typical parakeet, with a green and black back, a green chest and a
little yellow head with spots on his face and a nose -sorry- a beak that
looked like Jake Dempsey - for those of you old enough to remember.  I
won't even get into his cauliflower ears, as I could never find them
anyway.

I named my parakeet Frisky, because he was.

My mother would let him out of his cage and he would fly onto the top of
my head, whereby he would immediately start scratching around and
pecking, much to my delight, for whatever bugs he thought he might find.
(Back then; there may have been a few.)

One day we left him in his cage on the back porch for sun, as was our
wont and the lame- brained cocker spaniel from next door got across the
ugly chain-link fence and broke into the cage.  Our next-door neighbor
brought the little bird back to me in her shaking hands.  Man, did I cry
my heart out.

What's funny is that my mother left saying that the bird didn't seem to
have even been bitten by the stupid dog.  It must have just died of a
heart attack.

C'mon.

Frisky didn't smoke, because he couldn't have even struck a match, much
less popped open a Zippo, and besides, where would he have gotten the
lighter fluid.  (Hmm-my dad, maybe, no.)  And he didn't drink, anything
more that water; that I ever saw.  And I used to make him run laps.

Maybe he got scared to death?  Maybe.

About two months ago I went to the pet store while my wife was out of
town (ha ha, got her) and bought the identical twin to Frisky (which
took some doing by a young lady with industrial sized gloves, as there
were several birds that were similar, and I was very specific about
which one I wanted.  I didn't even know that there were "white"
parakeets.  I think that they tried to pull off a miniature cockatiel in
there, but they couldn't fool me.  I wanted Frisky II).

About two hours and $35.00 later (of which is very cheap, I must
declare), I took home a beautiful six-week-old little bird, with a cage
and some birdseed.  I ignored the optional mirror, swing set and
newspaper in my glee.  After all, it's just me and the bird.

Now remember, this was two months ago.

My wife did not even have to admonish me or remind me that this was my
pet and I had to take care of it.  I've heard that before through at
least a dozen dogs, five cats, several horses, but only one bird.  (The
squirrels, etc. don't even count, as they never tried.)

So my little bird is settled in and I've custom-cut newspapers so that
not one piece of poop will ever disgrace our floor.  (And if you believe
that I've still got a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge.)

Suffice to say, this guy, whom we name Larry-the-Byrd, is not the same
bird I remember X years ago.  I was afraid to let him out of his cage
because he might fly away.  To heck with that.  I can't poke him out of
his cage with a BBQ fork.  I even tried a little fire and only ended up
with a burnt finger as he kicked over his little water dish and put it
out.

Open the cage door?  He shuts it.

We even put a little mirror with a ladder on it and I didn't even know
that birds had a middle feather.  We put in a little swing and the next
morning there was a little noose tied on it.  I don't know where he got
the thread but the knot was professional.  I actually went to extensive
research on the Internet (imagine that) and found out that one is
supposed to also augment the so-called parakeet food that we eat, like
fruit, nuts, grain bread, etc.  You ever had a peach pit hit you in the
forehead spit out by a bird?

But that was the last straw, (which is all he's getting lately to eat).
I'm not to be intimidated by a parakeet, no matter how expensive he was.

Therefore I started the proper psychological approach, which included a
lot of screaming.  Once my wife stopped that, I started throwing (just
lobbing, actually, for you animal activists) various peanuts, apples or
loafers lying around.  (Do you know how fast a parakeet can dodge?)

Now he simply waits until I'm soundly asleep and starts cheeping at the
top of his little bird lungs.  When I wake up, swinging wildly, as
though the bell just rung, I swear I see a little grin on that beak.

But I still have to poke him out of that cage.

Now, I presume the reader of this newsletter is asking, "What does that
have to do with business?"  Well doggone if I know, but I'm willing to
put up $20.00 of the money I saved by not buying dog for the best
answer.  My guaranteed treat.

Steven Jackson - sjackson@inter800.com
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Tip of the Week

Spam blocker

SpamBayes for Outlook 2000 and up

Every day we are all receiving more and more junk e-mail. If you are
using Outlook 2000 or Outlook XP this freeware program can help you
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which integrates classification and training into the Outlook interface.
After a short training period it will classify incoming email messages
as Spam and non-Spam. After using this program I found it easy to use
and very effective.

You will find this program at:
http://spambayes.sourceforge.net/index.html

Please note it doesn't work with Outlook Express

If you have any tips or shortcuts that you think the readers of this
Newsletter will find useful, send them to sjackson@inter800.com

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